Big blessings...

...Come in very small packages...

We are beyond thrilled to announce that we are expecting our first baby.

This little miracle revealed itself on my birthday and I posted that I received the biggest gift I could ask for that day. Since then I have been on a rollercoaster both physically and emotionally. I reckon there is a reason women don't reveal their pregnancy before the first trimester is over- quite frankly few of them would have something positive to say about the experience. My body has been spinning out of control and I have not had an appetite for anything other than cherries, peaches and watermelon for the last 2 months. I can nap anytime and anywhere. I am still working full time and finding it a challenge to go through my daily routine as casually as possible whilst I am feeling nauseous and generally weak throughout the day. Did I mention the heat? It's not helping the tiniest bit. Another reason I have not posted about this earlier is that I was honestly in denial. I asked Alex if we should perhaps take the home pregnancy test once again after it revealed a big fat positive on the screen. I just couldn't believe it. We waited for a few more weeks to go to the doctor's and even then as my doctor browsed charts and gave me prescriptions- I could still not believe it. I didn't want to jinx it.

But it's here. And it's real.

The most recent ultrasound yesterday showed our little one kicking his/her legs out, stretching and waving its arms over its head. Life is a party. Alex is utterly smitten. He is in love with this tiny image on the screen which is sporting a healthy, incredibly fast heartbeat (167 beats per minute) and making our hearts beat a little fast in the process too. Alex is attentive and patient. I on the other hand am sick, difficult and somewhat exhausted-all the time.I catch myself thinking "why do I feel so dizzy"  and then it comes to me...'oh right...the baby". I believe by nature mothers-to-be are somewhat stripped of "feeling" the whole intensity of the situation. To experience the full capacity of "love" towards this little beeing must be unbearable and that's why morning sickness exists. To make us a little numb to it. To keep us focused on folic acid, eating enough calcium, resting and making us capable of sleeping 12 hours a day. To keep us focused on our health. If I felt like my old self now (I remember I was once a fun and energetic person, I think) then I would be spending my whole time thinking and worrying. About every little detail. Instead while I have succumbed to feeling like a train ran over me twice-everyday- I have other people taking care of the details. My mom is constantly supplying us with meals (I gag everytime I step into the kitchen), Alex is doing everything around the house and takes frequent trips to the supermarket to buy-waterlons- and My Cynthia has already began shopping for the baby.

I expected to be worried. Worried about finances, the nursery, maternity clothes, gaining weight, maternity leave, baby names- but instead there is a residing calm in me. I have never been more sure of anything in my life- everything is going to work out just fine. As long as we are both healthy.

Everything else will fall into place...